on an unfortunate wednesday twenty odd years ago, i immediately understood the horrors that were to await me outside of the womb. as such, i tried to hang myself inside the womb but my attempted stillbirth was thwarted by well meaning physicians. after that, i was a prodigy boy and succeeded at tasks like breathing, crawling, walking, and eating but it was not to last... i was deemed a great and talented student in my early educational career but they didn't realize this compliment was actually a damning diagnosis of a neurological disorder. i peaked at about 10 years old and it has been all downhill since then.
Fun Facts
legally, i am required to wear corrective lenses when i operate a motor vehicle
i have watched all of the saw movies consecutively five times
my father wanted to name me nathaniel. why would he ever suggest this?
i was once kicked out of an arcade for sticking my hand up the claw machine to grab a toy for my at-the-time boyfriend after failing to win it (it was rigged)
i am afraid of mushrooms because im afraid i will breathe in their spores and begin to grow clusters of mushrooms inside of my lungs. i have had this fear since i was a young child
when time allows, i like to swim in the pacific ocean
i go to college to get more knowledge (actually very unsure of plans in life)
the local news station owns a 10 second clip from 2011 of me using the computer where you can see the back of my head
i am not allowed to die (specific instructions)
my half-sister once suggested to my father that he send me to conversion therapy. little did she know it was banned in 2013 (you'd think they'd ban that earlier..?)